Saturday, September 3, 2011
New blog. Different reasons. Help me out.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

QWOP the movie

Coming Soon.

I wish I could have had a better quality camera for this, and better actors, but I failed to do so.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Hey guys, this is a short post. But please watch some of my videos on youtube, they are pretty awesome! I put a lot of effort in some... not so much in others.

More real posts coming soon! Thanks for following!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Thinking with Portals

I feel so far behind, cause I am JUST getting into the portal games. Almost done beating 2 so I am catching up. But I was thinking of some ways Portals could affect MY life, and how I would use them for make benefit of my lazy ass. Here are some of my theories.

Theory 1: Unknowledgeable Kill

This one is pretty tricky. It involves 2 sets of 1-way portals. It will kill both victims if done correctly. Anyways, place the portals here.

Now you see, when the victim on the left eats food, he will fully chew, and taste the food. He will think he has successfully eaten the food. When it gets to a certain point before the stomach, Blue Portal 1 will send the food to the stomach of the person on the right instead. The second person will digest the food, and before it leaves the body, blue portal 2 send it back to the first person. The first person will then shit it out. The first person will have no idea that he didn't digest anything, and eventually die of starvation and not even know why. Assuming the portals are one way, and orange does not send back to blue, then person 2 will also eat twice as much and get really fat and eventually die of obesity. When both parties die, the portals will go away and it will not be traceable back to you in any way.

Theory 2: Shit Anywhere
This is much simpler. Just have a toilet nobody else uses, or one-way portals, to prevent extreme discomfort.
If blue portal is inside your pants and underpants, then you can use the bathroom while walking around, or sitting literally anywhere, and it will go directly into the toilet. Orange portal does not have to be in toilet. If you would perfer to put orange portal in ex girlfriends bed, that also is acceptable.

Theory 3: Playing With Yourself
Everybody plays RuneScape. But when you have more than one account, how are you supposed to get the 2 to interact with eachother? They can't be on the same IP address. But with Portals, this is possible.

Simply run from computer to computer to have your runescape accounts trade, fight, or complete a quest together. This will also get you exercise!

Theory 4: Free Chicken Nuggets
I am telling you how to do this because I am displeased with the chicken nuggets I got from Wendy's yesterday. Usually they are awesome, but when you have a literally mentally handicapped person running the frier, they come out terrible. I don't want to pay for chicken nuggets again. This is another simple theory.

Assuming that the worker is the same retard, Whenever he learns to make the chicken nuggets right, I will be ready to put a portal exactly in a spot in the wendy's kitchen so it will end up directly on my plate at home. This way I won't have to pay for this crap again.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

My sister started a blog!

For any of ya chicks out there who aren't interested in pictures of Cartman talking about Obama or Sperm stories, here's my sister's blog about FASHION! :P

Thursday, August 18, 2011

How I Came to where I am today

I never was the man I was today. I used to be only one cell. I was swimming around in my home base, training to one day leave the forest and find the golden prize. Problem was, anyone who left the forest, never came back. The Great Deku Tree had other plans for whoever left. Rumors had it that there was an X who found the golden prize, but since nobody came back, we will never know. It was suddenly July/August. I got my notice. Finally. My whole life, I was going to travel to the Great Deku Tree myself. I would finally know first hand, with the unit I grew up with, what really went on when you left. Some said there was a wall of rubber, or you travel down a long passage into a pit of acid. And as taught, my fellow trainees were now against me. Only one could have the golden prize. We all got together one last time. Stood in line, and then we were off. Fastest I have ever traveled. Suddenly, i stopped. Was I dead? What was happening? I looked up.And there, right in front of me, was a giant red orb. My friends were jabbing it as if trying to break it. I swam back a bit, then forward at full speed and strength. I felt me go through the shell and break what in one shot what my friends were so trying so hard to do. My tail was ripped off my body. I looked around. There was nothing. Was this the pit of acid? The wall of rubber? Did I fall into a trap? Or is this...the golden prize I was promised? If it was, WHAT A RIP OFF. It wasn't even golden. All of this was going through my head, but I started to get tired. I couldn't help but settling down. As I moved slower, and slower, I eventually stopped moving. I was sure I was going to die. Then... everything went black.

I have been told that I was asleep for 9 months, but when I woke up I wasn't myself. I was big. I had grown parts I have never seen before. There was a man who told me I was a boy. As far as I knew, I was a Y. I didn't know what a "boy" was. But as I grew... i learned the ways of these "persons". Apparently I was and still am one of them. I believe my sister, Kelly, was the X i heard rumors about, but that I will never know either. It all happened so quickly. It was getting to me. What really happened to my friends. What am I really. My mom was watching me lose it, and she got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Apparently if you bitch and complain to Sprint enough you can get free phones. Does this work for anyone else?

How about this Obama? I think he bein gay as hell!